So much of parenthood is raising our children to be responsible individuals who are honest, hard-working, reliable and have good habits. It seems like a completely natural response to punish bad behavior and praise good behavior. How many times have we sent Sarah up to her room to think about what she did wrong? When my oldest daughter was 8, I visited her class for the purposes of writing a column on this very subject.
This is not what moms and dads have in mind when they give their kids a timeout. Now in his mids, Bill reflected on his relationship with his dad, who was iron-fisted when it came to discipline. Bill was a mischievous boy, but his father was quick to punish him for any wrong-doing — without reprieve.
He would get back at his dad by giving him the silent treatment — a passive-aggressive approach to expressing his anger. And, in response to his dad, he just became sneakier. All too often, parents have their kids go to counseling because they have developed a pattern of misbehavior. Their parents have piled one punishment on top of another, each one increasingly severe. Everyone is frustrated. Parents feel hopeless and helpless.
Some simple behavioral principles can be helpful in righting this ship: Positive reinforcement is far more effective than negative reinforcement. The rewards have to be meaningful and desirable — and they may need to be changed frequently. Consistency and predictability are essential. Another way to put it is that reinforcement, if done correctly, results in a behavior occurring more frequently in the future. As you might expect, the effectiveness of a reinforcer depends on the context.
Natural reinforcers are often the most effective, but social reinforcers can also be extremely powerful. Tokens are often more useful with children, while tangible reinforcers are essential for training dogs, for example.
Reinforcement means you are increasing a behavior, and punishment means you are decreasing a behavior. All reinforcers positive or negative increase the likelihood of a behavioral response.
All punishers positive or negative decrease the likelihood of a behavioral response. Negative punishment is an important concept in B. Punishment does not need be extreme. It is simply a stimulus that is used to discourage or decrease an undesirable behavior. Although punishment does not replace the negative behavior like reinforcement does, it is still a resourceful technique.
Positive Punishment: While this may sound odd, it is actually what most of us are familiar with. For example, the verbal warning you received as a child for misbehaving in class, or for doing something inappropriate was the stimulus that discouraged your unwanted behavior. Negative Punishment: When using negative punishment, the parent or teacher must remove a certain stimulus to lower the chances of an unwanted behavior from happening again.
For instance, a child may find that their favorite toy is taken away from them if they are messy or do not clear up after themselves.
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