Adolescence is a time of transition not just for teens, but for their parents too. Many parents face their teen's emerging sexuality with a mix of confusion and worry. They may feel completely unprepared for this next stage of parenthood. And if their child is gay, it may bring a whole new set of questions and concerns.
Some are surprised to learn the truth, always having thought their child was straight. Others wonder whether the news is really true and whether their teen is sure. They might wonder if they did something to cause their child to be gay — but they shouldn't.
There is no evidence that being gay is the result of the way that someone was raised. Fortunately, many parents of gay teens understand and are accepting right from the start. They feel they have known all along, even before their teen came out to them. They often feel glad that their child chose to confide in them, and are proud of their child for having the courage to tell them. Other parents feel upset, disappointed, or unable to accept their teen's sexual orientation at first.
They may be concerned or worried about whether their son or daughter will be bullied, mistreated, or marginalized. And they might feel protective, worrying that others might judge or reject their child. Some also struggle to reconcile their teen's sexual orientation with their religious or personal beliefs. Sadly, some react with anger, hostility, or rejection. But many parents find that they just need time to adjust to the news. That's where support groups and other organizations can help.
That is why most girls and women get their periods around once a month. For the first few years after a girls starts her period, it may not come regularly. This is normal at first. By about 2—3 years after her first period, a girl's periods should be coming around once a month. Periods usually happen about once a month. But some girls get their periods around every 3 weeks.
And others only get a period about once every 6 weeks. There are a few ways to deal with period blood. You may need to experiment a bit to find which works best for you. Some girls use only one method and others switch between different methods. Although it may look like a lot of blood, a girl usually only loses a few tablespoons of blood for the whole period.
Most girls need to change their pad, tampon, or menstrual cup about 3—6 times a day. Women also won't have a period while they are pregnant. PMS premenstrual syndrome is when a girl has emotional and physical symptoms right before her period starts or during the early part of her period. Most who did tell a parent say that it was difficult, but relatively few say that it damaged their relationship.
The survey finds that 12 is the median age at which lesbian, gay and bisexual adults first felt they might be something other than heterosexual or straight. For those who say they now know for sure that they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender, that realization came at a median age of Among those who have shared this information with a family member or close friend, 20 is the median age at which they first did so. Gay men report having reached all of these coming out milestones somewhat earlier than do lesbians and bisexuals.
The survey was conducted April , , and administered online, a survey mode that research indicates tends to produce more honest answers on a range of sensitive topics than do other less anonymous modes of survey-taking. For more details, see Chapter 1 and Appendix 1.
The survey finds that the LGBT population is distinctive in many ways beyond sexual orientation. Compared with the general public, Pew Research LGBT survey respondents are more liberal, more Democratic, less religious, less happy with their lives, and more satisfied with the general direction of the country. On average, they are younger than the general public.
Their family incomes are lower, which may be related to their relative youth and the smaller size of their households. They are also more likely to perceive discrimination not just against themselves but also against other groups with a legacy of discrimination. This report is based primarily on a Pew Research Center survey of the LGBT population conducted April , , among a nationally representative sample of 1, self-identified lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender adults 18 years of age or older.
The sample comprised gay men, lesbians, bisexuals and 43 transgender adults. The survey questionnaire was written by the Pew Research Center and administered by the GfK Group using KnowledgePanel, its nationally representative online research panel. The online survey mode was chosen for this study, in part, because considerable research on sensitive issues such as drug use, sexual behavior and even attendance at religious services indicates that the online mode of survey administration is likely to elicit more honest answers from respondents on a range of topics.
The margin of sampling error for the full LGBT sample is plus or minus 4. On the topic of same-sex marriage, not surprisingly, there is a large gap between the views of the general public and those of LGBT adults. Large majorities of LGBT adults and the general public agree that love, companionship and making a lifelong commitment are very important reasons to marry. Four-in-ten respondents to the Pew Research Center survey identify themselves as bisexual.
This report makes no attempt to estimate the share of the U. Other recent survey-based research reports have made estimates in the 3. However, all such estimates depend to some degree on the willingness of LGBT individuals to disclose their sexual orientation and gender identity, and research suggests that not everyone in this population is ready or willing to do so. See Appendix 1 for a discussion of these and other methodological issues. The table above provides a look at key demographic characteristics of the full Pew Research LGBT survey sample and its three largest sub-groups—bisexuals, gay men and lesbians.
It shows, among other things, that bisexuals are younger, have lower family incomes and are less likely to be college graduates than gay men and lesbians. The relative youth of bisexuals likely explains some of their lower levels of income and education. The survey also finds that bisexuals differ from gay men and lesbians on a range of attitudes and experiences related to their sexual orientation.
Likewise, about half of gay men and lesbians say their sexual orientation is extremely or very important to their overall identity, compared with just two-in-ten bisexual men and women. Gays and lesbians are also more likely than bisexuals to say their sexual orientation is a positive factor in their lives, though across all three subgroups, many say it is neither positive nor negative.
Only a small fraction of all groups describe their sexual orientation or gender identity as a negative factor. Roughly three-quarters of bisexual respondents to the Pew Research survey are women. By contrast, gay men outnumber lesbians by about two-to-one among survey respondents. Bisexuals are far more likely than either gay men or lesbians to be married, in part because a large majority of those in committed relationships have partners of the opposite sex and thus are able to marry legally.
Also, two-thirds of bisexuals say they either already have or want children, compared with about half of lesbians and three-in-ten gay men. Across the LGBT population, more say bisexual women and lesbians are accepted by society than say this about gay men, bisexual men or transgender people. Surveys of the general public show that societal acceptance is on the rise. I was financially independent of my parents. They didn't pay my bills or keep a roof over my head.
But my relationship with them was still so incredibly important to me. And them not knowing about such a big part of me was increasingly becoming an unbearable weight to carry. I talked to my mother almost daily and still do. There was no way to not tell them. Thankfully my parents responded with love and support.
The weight off my shoulders was tremendous. It felt like breathing again after being held underwater for months. I could finally see what the other side of coming out looks like. Despite their conservative views and a Southern Baptist upbringing, my parents were on my side. October 11 is National Coming Out Day.
Many of those people are teenagers, living at home at the mercy of their families. On the other side of this day, there are likely a number of parents grappling with how to respond to their children. While there is no textbook right way, there is a wrong way. Rejecting your child, kicking them out, telling them it's a phase, seeking anti-gay therapy can all lead your child down a path that is far worse than them simply loving someone of the same gender.
Melisa Raney is all smiles with sister. They are also almost five times more likely to attempt suicide. So, how should you respond if your child comes out? Your response can be simple. You love them. You always will. And that love is unconditional. They need to hear this. Here are a few other things to do -- and not to do. Tell them they will be OK. A child deserves to feel safe. Your child is looking to you for that security, for the security of knowing that everything will be OK.
And they will be OK because you are their biggest supporter. Even if you don't fully understand the how and the why behind their sexuality, that's for you as a parent to figure out, which may take time.
But at this moment, your child needs to know they will be OK because you will be beside them. You can't 'pray away the gay. People can't change their sexuality any more than they can will their eye color to change. Don't ask your child to change who they are.
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